I have officially lived through one week of being 30. Whoa. That still sounds wierd. My mind is stuck at 25 or 26. Literally. These past 4-5 years didn't really mature me, uh, I think. Oh wait, they totally did. Kinda.
I had a WONDERFUL birthday week.
I trained with a pseudo-mom for 2 days. She commanded me to take stock of what I have, of who I am, of what I have been blessed with, what I've done so far, and to make a list of what I'm thankful for.
On the eve of my 30th I did that. I also knew i would be seeing some of my favorite people on my birthday so I felt thus compelled to let them know how thankful i was for them in my life.
My birthday day comes -- and i embrace the morning.... I open gifts alone, get myself together, and go to chapel at Teen Challenge. No one who was there knew it was my birthday altho i was told I looked really pretty that morning. The ones who DID know the importance of the 'prettiness' were noticably absent. .. .. One was called out to do a job of some sort, and the other took himself to ER. The whole ER thing caused my stomach to drop, literally.
What?
Should I go? Or carry on with my intention to go camera shopping? Pffffftt. The idea stopped there. Hello, seriously. Is there even something to consider? It is at this point that one realizes how much someone means to them..... If it were any other guy from TC in emerg, i probably would not have gone.
I raced to emerg, went in the back way my heart just a pounding. See.. this good friend of mine had just returned from 3 weeks in Africa -- and 6 weeks before that he had just gotten back from 3 weeks in the Philippines. I envisioned him sunken and sallow in a hospital bed crowded with nurses and IV's, being medicated to save his life from some horrid parasite that was literally eating him to death.
He wasn't where I thought he would be so i walked into the nurses station and looked at the boards that show where all the current patients are. (oh the perks of having worked there 4 years and having the staff know you). His name was on the board, he was probably just with someone... I go back. This time I find him sitting in a seat, slouched down, flipping thru a book he brought with him. I walk past a few patients towards him. He looks up and just stares at me. I think he was computing the whole concept of what the heck was I, someone he knows, doing there, when he felt like death.
It was my birthday. He knew it. And I spent an hour and a half sitting in ER with this amazing friend of mine. I got to know him more. I made him laugh, smile, joke and tell me that it wasn't wierd that I was there. I think he enjoyed my company. He found the fact that the doctor waved at me and the nurses chatted with me amusing. One nurse asked him if security should be called for the fact that I was harassing him (harassing was what I told them i was doing there, them knowing full well that i wasn't a patient).
Turned out, he was fine. Probably a parasite but one that will pass with time. Better he know and be relieved than to stress about it and enduce more panic... I walked him out to where he parked and gave him the "thank-you" card. He looked at me and said "it's YOUR birthday and you have a card for ME". I told him what i was doing -- why i was doing it. So again, he looked at me "You're thankful for me." Statement. Like he was digesting it. Probably overwhelmed with what to think about me stalking him in emerg...
I went for lunch with 2 amazing gals. We sat in the park, in the sun, talked about life --- the differing adventures we're on. ..... I gave them their cards. We got a bit of a sunburn but we also were able to talk about stuff we haven't had the chance to yet... I got to share my opinion and worry about one of their relationships with a guy. We ate sushi and cheesecake. I thanked Jesus for the day thus far.
I went to dinner with the fam and my friend meghann. I like my family. they're cool people. They've raised me well. Meghann and I hung out after that. I like her...... i heart her. We have fun together. She's honest with me. She's straight up. She's not afraid to challenge me when my thoughts get ahead of me and could drift into silliness...
Throughout the day I had countless messages/texts/facebook alerts and blackberry messenger chats attacking my phone. It was buzzing nonstop. I was overwhelmed. .... and sooooo blessed.
This is what I have realized -and later told the 12 people that stuck it out to 2am, sitting around my birthday bonfire 2 days later. We all make choices in our lives. Some good, some bad. We learn from them, we move on from them, we are influenced by them.. our lives are changed through them. One of the BIGGEST choices we can make is to choose to be a friend to someone. Seriously. It's in the moments of our lonliness that we WISH we had someone to be our shouder, or the other half of an embrace. It's in the times we are overflowing with joy that we savor sharing our happy dance with someone who'll dance with us. --> It's in those moments that we're needed to be there for other people. It's in those times when God prods us to call someone up, or invite someone out -- those sensitive moments that can really change a person's life. THOSE kinds of choices are the most amazing gifts --- the gift of friendship - CHOOSING to be a friend to someone else has an amazing effect on you, me, us, anyone. I told my friends that i am so blessed to have had them all choose to attend my birthday party when they could have been so many other places. I am so blessed by their influence in my life. I really am. Especially when I sat back after the party was over and read all the birthday cards ... after I realized there were close to 45 people who came.. (chose to)... after I thought about how the last 8 people decided to pray over me and ask God to bless my life for another year.
God is good... SOOOO good. He has given me some pretty awesome people to love on, to love me...
I have girls in my life who seem to embrace my thoughts as wisdom.
I have guys in my life who seem to embrace my words and attention as encouragement.
I have friends .... I really have friends. I heart them. I make sure they know it.
-- haha. .. and tonite, i now have 2 favorite guys telling me they will fix my car. One will do it himself, the other will get his 'crew' to do it.. One lives here in town, the other is 3 hours away. I'm laughing inside. I want to marry them both. ( :please note that the last sentence is NOT to be taken literally: )....
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