Quotes I've said, heard or read this week in and around town...

"Stay safe. Come back in one piece. I'm not finished getting to know you yet."

"...pulled out of her car wearing only a g-string, a boustier and knee high boots. Completely drunk."

"You drink latte's right? Here's one for you, with a chocolate heart on top!"

"One should have a 3 second, 30 second and 30 minute sermon ready...."

"I don't think that i have ever had a friend as good as you."

And tonite's winning story.
The time: 0445am. The emergency/code phone rings. I reach quickly to grab the phone and see it originates in Emergency "Code Phone!" -- "Uh.... code white, Emerg"...
I hang up the phone, press the tone button and page overhead "CODE WHITE EMERGENCY, ...CODE WHITE ....EMERGENCY?". Should I have been calling Admitting?? As i hang up the phone I see a husky 20-something guy with a laceration to his forehead come ambling into our department from emergency with 2 nurses on his tail, wearing nothing but a diaper. "Come back! Where are you going?!" The nursing supervisor hops up from her seat saying "No no... wrong way!"
The young drunk hockey player (as referred by the nursing staff) kept walking into our backroom/lunchroom as if he knew where he were going.
"Is there a bathroom back there?" one of the nurses asks.
uhhhh......
And then I hear "Oh come on, keep your pants on man!"
Seriously?
3 or 4 more staff members on the "code white" team come walking through. "They're in the back... come save us!" I said, laughing.
Nursing supervisor comes out and says "I think we'll need housekeeping.. he kinda missed the toilet". Awesome.
I told one of the guys walking by just to make sure that the man had clothes on when he came back out.
Thankfully, not 15 seconds later, buddy comes walking out wearing only a gown (not done up in the back) being held on by the nurses trailing him, his eyes pinned on me.... I try to maintain eye contact or avoid any contact whatsoever but he maintains his gaze. Reaching not 8 feet away and walking straight towards me, he grasps down and pulls up his gown mumbling something like "you wannnnaaa..".
NO THANK YOU!
I turn my head as fast as I could to save myself some visual scarring and exhibitionistic counseling, thankfully seeing NOTHING...
"whoooeeee. I didn't see anything. ugh..."I say once they're back in emergency. One of the nurses stops, touches my shoulder and says "Oh, dont' worry. There's nothing worth seeing!". Haha.. Thanks!

Oy.....
I walked into emerg later and the unit clerk looks at me and just starts cracking up, "your face! you're just not impressed!" "Why didn't you keep him!! I didn't want him!" I said. She justkept laughing.....
The police show up later and come over saying "we're all good here? So, he came walking into your department wearing only a diaper?" They're smiling away at me... "Oh yeah. Sheer entertainment. Why weren't you guys here earlier?"
Ha!

Gotta love entertainment that I'M paid for.