Wow. Life. Wow. God...

Life is what you make it, or rather, it is what you take from what happens as you live...

Wow...
I think i've stopped spinning, momentarily. Seriously.
No. I haven't come to a complete standstill as I am still moving. I just stopped SPINNING.

All I can say is, wow, God is good. No... God is amazing. He is faithful. He is ALWAYS there, and he sure gosh-darn-it knows what's BEST.

After speaking at The House on Feb 7, I went through what I like to call 7 weeks of hell. Yes. 7. The first week was pure torment and a questioning of EVERY relationship I have. I put some friends through the ringer; through some drills of questions about whether they even care about me. I felt affirmed, but it wasn't good enough. ... it was never good enough.
While dealing with the spiritual attack, God decided that having me in a vulnerable place might be a good time to allow some other trials/struggles/storms to overtake my mind. Yup... major storms.
In it though, I realized that I had created an idol in my life. I realized that I had been way too concerned about pleasing someone other than Him. During a worship night I prayed to see Jesus, I prayed to experience His presence, I told God I wished he could just be here in the flesh... In that prayer it was as if Jesus then said to me "okay Sharlene, if I showed up and asked you to come with me - leaving all else behind, would you come?" ... My first thought convicted me to the core. Rather than HECK YES!! it was "but... umm.. can _____ come too? Are they staying behind?"
At that moment my heart sank. Jesus whispered a "see...? see what you're putting before me? Learn to leave that behind and I'll take you on an adventure."

UGH...
That night started a shift. It let me to realizing that i NEEDED to let go of any distractions that would keep me from seeing God's full potential in my life.
Shortly before Christmas I met this guy named David. David has this unique and amazing connection with God - he is SO full of the Spirit, sensitive to God's voice like no one else I have ever met, and he LIVES out passion. On one of my worst days, David came up to me after church and gave me a hug, calling me 'sweetie' and looking me in the eye saying "you're really struggling right now, aren't you?" I looked at him, my eyes filling with tears as that was SO the truth. He nodded saying "I know. The Spirit told me." He put his hand on my shoulder and prayed for me then said "I think I have a word for you. God gave me this word last weekend, I didn't know who it was for, but I believe it's for you..." He opened his book and proceeded to read "If you can't see it, you can't have it." He closed his book and looked at me. "I don't know if it's for you, but pray about it and see if God tells you something in that..."
I came to realize it WAS for me. I came to acknowledge that if i can't "see" the potential other people see in me, or what God sees in me, or what God has planned for me, -- if i choose NOT to "see" it.. I can't HAVE it. God will not give me anything I don't ask for, that I don't believe in faith for.
If i refuse to build my giftings or test out my passions, why will God give me ways to use them in greater capacities? If I can't do anything with little, why will He give me much?
Huh.
Wow.
Confidence, my dear girl, CONFIDENCE.
Needless to say, I let go of my idol (HARD! but GOOD!). I took a step forward. I choose to surround myself with individuals who edify me and build me and pour into me. I in turn am able to BUILD others up with what God gives me in all of this.
I CHOOSE Joy in the morning. I CHOOSE to trust God with my life. I try to see past my own insecurities and subjective view to see what God might see in me and my life. I am looking at the big picture, rather than the single and narrow perspective I'm living in.
I've started to hang out more with David (and friends) - he's only 24 and he lives like this.. Wow. Such an inspiration. We believe God wants us to live in Him and His love ALL. THE. TIME. ...

I'm seeing what God has brought me through. I'm seeing what God is teaching me. It's so satisfying. I'm investing my life in the lives of some freakin' amazing people. During the week, i have regular "functions" for 5 out of the 7 nights. I'm getting to know this amazing girl every monday night, Tuesdays find me at K-HOP (Kelowna House of Prayer). Wednesdays I joined a Bible Study that looks at Finding the Will of God in Your Life. Thursdays - young adults. The other two fill up with random events/coffee dates/parties ... anything, and Sundays nights - The House. I am hardly home. ... but it's for God's glory! I LOVE it all. Being THIS busy is a blessing in that none of these events tear me down. I'll hang out with David in a group and he'll suddenly look at me and say "Do you feel Him? God? Do you feel Him?"... or, while sitting at my feet this past weekend he looked up at me and asked "What verse are you meditating on right now? What is God speaking to you about?"... He believes that any conversation that does NOT involve God is boring. He wants to do NOTHING but learn GOD. It blows me away. It causes me to look up. It blesses my heart. David blesses my heart.

In the midst of my struggle, in the midst of me realizing I've been worshiping other things than Jesus, God gives me a good influence of a guy like David... Or Heidi - a girl who is also so into the spirit that she'll come walking up to you and just look at you and say "you have this crazy joy inside you, it makes me dizzy! God loves that you carry it!" Their hearts are in sync with what God wants to do. It makes me want to be that in tune with Jesus, to be able to speak into lives like they have in mine, to be able to tell people what God wants them to hear!

It's through these situations and these people that I KNOW God is real. So unbelievably real. My heart is excited for what God has next....
WAHOO!! :D

Wow, it has been a while...

Okay..
So there is FAR too much to update as a whole so I'll just throw this out there..

I got the opportunity to speak at The House (one of my most favorite places) and have been asked to be in a form of leadership there. A few of my friends missed out on hearing me and I didn't think the night was recorded... but .. it was!! Go figure.. I may end up speaking again. I have yet to start working on what God wants me to "talk" on.

http://www.thehouseonline.ca/Church/Podcast/Entries/2010/2/11_House_Feb_7_2010.html

There ya are...

I MAY have a part time job coming up in that same lovely environment (The House) -- it was offered unofficially so I have yet to wait and see. I'm excited about it as it may be a HUGE answer to prayer for me...

My friends are lovely -- they keep me going.
I'm still super tight with the Teen Challenge crew. Probably too much so - but that is something I'm working on. They are some of the most amazing men though... i'm "addicted"...

I'm sure there's more I can talk about but... , this was for you Patti :)