On occasion, I write on the alivebc.com blog. .... My latest post is as follows.. :
Have you ever gone off into complete solitude for a while? Now I don’t mean solitary confinement (TORTURE!) or anything of that sort. Rather, have do you ever take time to just go and be in complete silence somewhere? It almost seems weird in the world of noise-music-talk-radio that we live in today. People would probably go through some sort of separation anxiety if they had their mp3 player removed from their tight grasp or perfectly indented pocket. Necks and ears would feel naked without earphones and their cords strategically in place. Car rides would seem longer without stereo noise. Our hands would be fidgety without our cell phone. Can you imagine?
I was driving home from a meeting the other day and the lyrics of “Forget What You Came For” by The Myriad actually caught my attention. I’ve heard the song multiple times before – both live and recorded. This was the first time though that I was really trying to figure out what they meant. They sing: “quit making noise, and become still for the silent voice, forget what you came for and give up what you have, forget what you came for and give up what you love”.
Silent voice? Who’s voice? Ah… God’s voice. Quit making noise? But I’m praying, aren’t I? I’m praising, yes? Am I? Or am I merely enjoying the sound of my own voice uttering what I wish to be prayer requests. And prayer requests for whose glory? My own? Just so I can say “I prayed for you last night/yesterday/today”, or because that person really was on my prayer list or my heart at that time? But noise? Really?
“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.” – 1 Cor 13:1.
Ah… yes. Noise.
Have you ever come before God just because you’ve felt like you need to? And just sat there, in silence? It’s hard to do, sitting in silence. The mind likes to wander to various distractions – the day, week, month, year, people, places, things, food…
Okay, back to what I got to thinking about in terms of the lyrics. “Forget what you came for, give up what you have/love”. It was a reminder to me: sometimes I have to just shut up, sometimes I have to just sit and see what God brings to my mind. I have to sit in His presence and give up on my own agenda – my own needs/wants/wishes/frustrations and see what He may want to tell me. Maybe I find myself in His presence with my fists holding tightly to things I don’t want to let go of – of my future, my career, my dreams, my ideal love life. I often second guess the fact that God may have BETTER plans for me than what I think would be ideal. I tend to fear that He will send me to Tijuana, Mexico or the dirtiest place of my fears and expect me to do something outside of my giftings and passions. I know that’s not His agenda though…. We all know that.
Lately I have been sitting in God’s presence with my palms literally open and upward. I don’t want to be holding anything back. I want to trust that God has my life in His palm. I want to sit there and close my mind and all outward distractions so that I can be of pure heart and connect with His heart. I think that it is in these moments that God can honestly bring people to mind that He DOES want you to pray for. I heard it once said somewhere, that if God brings a person to your mind you should pray for them – not dream about them, or wonder what they’re doing (well, you can do that if you really want to), but they at that moment may be going thru a spiritual/physical/emotional battle and need some prayer. If you’re in the right place God may nudge YOU to pray for them – to fire off a legion of angels their way.
Wow. Can you imagine the power in that? All our prayers go before God – Revelation 8:3 talks about them as being offered with incense. Every time YOU pray, you join the army- you join the battle of the Lord.
“Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.” Ps 37:7
“For the pagan world runs after all [physical worries], and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.” Luke 12:30-31.
God knows what our hearts melt for. He knows what our hearts break for. He knows what we get frustrated about – and He still loves to have us tell Him in prayer. Perhaps though, sometimes we just need to sit and let HIM tell us what’s on His heart for us. Perhaps we just need to let go of all those worries and trust that He is enough to satisfy whatever it is.
Sometimes we need to turn DOWN the worship music and hear God’s whisper that we may be drowning out. Maybe we need to surgically extract the earbuds of our mp3 player from our near-deaf ear and spend some moments listening to His still small voice. [Have you ever been somewhere and the people beside you seemed to be involved in a very private conversation --- whispering --- and your ears were totally piqued. You’re listening to music but you find yourself secretly muting your tunes so you can try to catch onto what they’re saying. It does seem important with all that hush-hush business. That’s the way it always goes… I think we need to press into the conversations of God with that same interest and see what His next move or intrigue will be!]
Maybe we need to put aside our latest and greatest complaints of life and hear God’s greater agenda. The world does not revolve around us after all. It revolves around the Son, er, sun.
So, forget what you came for, give up what you have, or what you love. Listen for His voice. Sit in silence and hear. God may tell you His own secrets. Wouldn’t you love to be privy to THAT kind of information?
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Christ IN you... literally...
Ever heard of a molecule called Laminin? I didn't until about a month ago. Whoa. ... now that is an eye opener.
Cool video here.
Cool video here.
No time for video? just check out this image:
Yeah.
I thought so too.
There's a new fun song running through my head. It's fun.... i haven't really listened to all the words tho, so it may not be my philosophy. HA!
I had the best weekend ever. It started with my mom's birthday on friday - went out for dinner with the fam. JUST got home when the my brother and his gf showed up at the door! SURPRISE! So.. that was fun... That night I went out and saw Wolverine (delish), the next day I went to a BBQ and had some GREAT laughs while playing a game called "Quelf" . Oh gosh. If you want to laugh at other people and yourself, that's the game to play. Sunday was an awesome service at church... and then sunday night I hosted a bonfire. Again.. more laughing. These new (and old) friends of mine are just fabulous... Seriously. We wound up having a marshmallow fight of all marshmallow fights that included a good wad of squished marshmallows being put down the back of one guy's shirt... Another guy kept putting more and more twigs on the fire to the point where the fire matter (sticks) were only about 2 feet off the ground, but the flames shot up about 8 or 9 feet. NO JOKE. I started freaking out, for fear that my parents would either yell from the house or a neighbor would call 9-1-1. Instead, this one guy Jared, decided he would JUMP THROUGH the flames. Twice. Again, freak me out. He only had a few singed leg hairs. He tried to convince me to do it but uh, no thanks. I still can't believe that he jumped THROUGH the flames, and those flames were not exactly small... Silly man.
Monday invovled a good hike - impromptu - with 14 young adults! It was a great turn out!! 8 of us went to Boston Pizza after to revive ourselves - and from there I met up with a couple different friends to go bowling... I'm not a fan of 5-pin bowling. I'm all about 10 pin. ... that's all I have to say about that. Or Wii bowling, that's fun too.
So, some of us girls have been thinking about summer events. Seeing as how 2 of us have the "in" with 3 different church young adults groups, we're taking on the organization of "Summer Funs", yes "funs". Once a month we want to do something that may require a bit of cash, but for every other event, we just want to get out and do hikes, bikes, walks, bonfires, bbq's etc. It is more than awesome to get large groups of young adults together to meet each other and hang out. We just need events to do it... We've already decided that one weekend we're going to road trip out to Playland ... Oh yes... bring on the rollarcoasters! :D
That's it for now.
I'm at work. Back in Rehab. I forgot how quiet it can be - hence the blog. :) I dont' mind, i don't mind AT ALL....
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Coffee Love...
I love going for coffee with friends. We don't even have to drink coffee, that part is negotiable... but it's the concept. It's the fact that you sit across a table, or sit on a couch with a friend and you share your hearts with each other. No expectations, no facade, no underlying motivations...
Yesterday after work I spent 4 hours with a dear sweet gal I know that I kinda "nanny'd" for 2 weeks some 7 years ago. She's now 21 and AMAZING. ...
I get so encouraged when I encourage people. I get so filled with joy in these moments of LIFE! I honestly don't think I could be more at peace with where I'm at in life than I am now. Sure there are moments where I wish certain things were different, but then I see or hear why I am where I'm at -- something happens, or a realization overtakes me. And it all makes sense.... Yesterday we chatted about life, about love, about future and perspectives, about pasts, about God and all that He's taught is through where He's taken us. And then we sat there marvelling God's awesome goodness. We sat there thinking about the little things in life that can be marvelling -- about being objective and trying to see stuff for the first time. For instance, put your fingers on the pulse in your wrist or throat. Think about that for a second or two, or 10. To many medical professionals, a pulse meanse "life".... you're alive by medical standards because of that pulsating muscle in your chest --- driven by the section of your brain located at the uppermost part of your spinal cord called the Medulla. The medulla is the ONLY part of your brain that is automatic -- you have NO control over it... and that's a good thing. We forget our car keys, our way to a friend's house, the combination to our gym locker and important appointments. Could you imagine forgetting to remind your heart to beat? Or forgetting to breathe while you're sleeping? Yeah, there's a reason for the automaticity.... But do we ever take a few minutes to just feel the life in our friends? We hear it when they're talking, we see it in their actions. Or how about the eyes? -- have you stared into a friend's eyes only to examine the intricate coloring or patterning in their iris? -- and that's just the surface part of the eye. Wow. Eyes CAN be windows to the soul. Have you stared into someone's eyes of late and felt a passion within you freak out? Not because there's an attraction, but because you can see to their full potential and passion? Because you see their LIFE? --- whenever I get thinking about this i seem to come back to the 2 lines in John Mayer's song "Only Heart" that say "Feel my chest when I look at you, baby you, you got my only heart"....
Kinesics are cool.
Needless to say, my drive home last night was spent praising God for who He is, and all that He does.
I'm turning the big 30 this month. It's daunting. It's intimidating... It holds so many underlying societal expectations of what happens when one turns 30. Yeah. Whatever. So they say. Who decides that anyways? Statistics? -- simply because it has been the way things have been going? Because generations before have set a standard or trend... Yeah, well, God's beyond trends, He's beyond societal norms. So, boo. I've decided that I will look at this 'celebration' as depicting everything that I have DONE, as opposed to what I haven't done... I know that I'm where I'm at for a reason and couldn't really have done anything differently in keeping alligned with what I've felt God calling me to do or be. This past year has been a testiment to that. I can acknowledge that i would not change a single thing... not ONE thing.
-- and I'm not just telling myself that.
Oh, and there's something else that I found that is crazy cool... but i have to refind it again. next time.
Yesterday after work I spent 4 hours with a dear sweet gal I know that I kinda "nanny'd" for 2 weeks some 7 years ago. She's now 21 and AMAZING. ...
I get so encouraged when I encourage people. I get so filled with joy in these moments of LIFE! I honestly don't think I could be more at peace with where I'm at in life than I am now. Sure there are moments where I wish certain things were different, but then I see or hear why I am where I'm at -- something happens, or a realization overtakes me. And it all makes sense.... Yesterday we chatted about life, about love, about future and perspectives, about pasts, about God and all that He's taught is through where He's taken us. And then we sat there marvelling God's awesome goodness. We sat there thinking about the little things in life that can be marvelling -- about being objective and trying to see stuff for the first time. For instance, put your fingers on the pulse in your wrist or throat. Think about that for a second or two, or 10. To many medical professionals, a pulse meanse "life".... you're alive by medical standards because of that pulsating muscle in your chest --- driven by the section of your brain located at the uppermost part of your spinal cord called the Medulla. The medulla is the ONLY part of your brain that is automatic -- you have NO control over it... and that's a good thing. We forget our car keys, our way to a friend's house, the combination to our gym locker and important appointments. Could you imagine forgetting to remind your heart to beat? Or forgetting to breathe while you're sleeping? Yeah, there's a reason for the automaticity.... But do we ever take a few minutes to just feel the life in our friends? We hear it when they're talking, we see it in their actions. Or how about the eyes? -- have you stared into a friend's eyes only to examine the intricate coloring or patterning in their iris? -- and that's just the surface part of the eye. Wow. Eyes CAN be windows to the soul. Have you stared into someone's eyes of late and felt a passion within you freak out? Not because there's an attraction, but because you can see to their full potential and passion? Because you see their LIFE? --- whenever I get thinking about this i seem to come back to the 2 lines in John Mayer's song "Only Heart" that say "Feel my chest when I look at you, baby you, you got my only heart"....
Kinesics are cool.
Needless to say, my drive home last night was spent praising God for who He is, and all that He does.
I'm turning the big 30 this month. It's daunting. It's intimidating... It holds so many underlying societal expectations of what happens when one turns 30. Yeah. Whatever. So they say. Who decides that anyways? Statistics? -- simply because it has been the way things have been going? Because generations before have set a standard or trend... Yeah, well, God's beyond trends, He's beyond societal norms. So, boo. I've decided that I will look at this 'celebration' as depicting everything that I have DONE, as opposed to what I haven't done... I know that I'm where I'm at for a reason and couldn't really have done anything differently in keeping alligned with what I've felt God calling me to do or be. This past year has been a testiment to that. I can acknowledge that i would not change a single thing... not ONE thing.
-- and I'm not just telling myself that.
Oh, and there's something else that I found that is crazy cool... but i have to refind it again. next time.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
... 31 hours? ....
God makes people beautiful. He really does. I experienced that last week. No details, but wow. I had never realized how God can change a perspective if I let Him, if i needed Him to in order to remove doubts. Pretty fantastic.
I worked my last night shift - ever - (hopefully). It was wierd. It was bittersweet. It was ... wierd. The work itself was odd - the patients that came into Emerg were wierd, the situation of trying to move patients out of emerg into the rest of the hospital was wierd... And, coming to terms with reading "we'll miss you" cards and explaining my next "move" to people was wierd. We had donuts, macaroons, one-bite-brownies, a cake, chips, candy and green beans. Well, i didn't get to my green beans that night, can you guess why? Yeah. And, shall I mention that on night shift there is only 2 of us working? AND, my coworker bought me a mocha. Awe. I wasn't telling MANY people i was leaving, so as the nurses in ER were slowly finding out they were paying their dues, 'i'll miss you's" and sampling some sweets, i felt.... wierd. The Emerg doctor got to tell me he liked my hair (again, still). Finally, leaving time, i hugged all my buddies farewell, gathered up my flower, chocolate and cards and left.
Meghann and I had plans. I hit her place, picked her up, and both her and I booked it for Bellingham. Yes, Ihad already been up since 4pm the previous day but it was now 8:30 am, I was "awake" and excited to go SHOP! Meg had just finished her BA, i just finished this job, ... and woo woo!! .. CELEBRATE!
We drove. We talked about boys - the jerk who played her, the crush who is sweet to me; we danced to the music. We waved to the construction workers and contemplated kidnapping a couple of them. We stopped in Chilliwack to visit a buddy of mine -- surprising him with a "come outside in 10 minutes" text. We found out he'd be getting a tattoo later that day so we told him we'd be back the next day on our way home to see it. It's also entertaining to stop at a rehab center for men as 2 attractive females -- knowing that the guy we're visiting is going to be so razzed by the rest of the guys there after we leave. .... So worth it. :)
We hit bellingham by noon. We left bellingham at 6:30 - and over $600 poorer (we were poorer, the city was not). We lied to the border guard (forgive us Lord), but she understood girl time and Bath and Bodyworks. We got back to her aunt's, changed, and headed to a 'concert'. George Canyon, Aaron Pritchett and Jessie Farrel. HILARIOUS. Cool. Entertaining. Good times. I was exhausted, but so glad to have been there!
Hitting the pillow at 11pm timed my awake time as 31 hours. The longest yet - and the LAST! I slept well that night.... I didn't wake up once. 8 hours later we were rousing and packing to get out.
The drive home was more mellow, Meghann napped, my friend's tattoo was cool...
2:30 pm I dropped of Meghann and I headed home.
.....
Last night I spent 6 hours with a friend i've known for over 10 years. He's a boy. Well, I guess he's a man. But wow... I treasure that man like nothing I can describe. I don't know what it is but I've always seemed to be able to have guy friends with "no romantic feelings" -- and it's a true blessing to my heart. Last night I got his advice on "the latest" in my 'like-life' (no to be confused with love-life because love would be the WRONG word at this point). I gave my advice on him and his gf's situation and status. Fabulous. Nothing short of fabulous could describe our time together. We honestly adore each other in the true and pure sense of the word - as friends. JUST friends - and not like the movie of the same title. FRIENDS in the most descriptive sense of understanding phileo. *sigh*. I only have a year and a half before he leaves me to go to Aussie land to be with his Aussie-honey. He's already asked me to move down there with them.... I told him i'd bring my own lover and spend a week or two.
I tell ya. This week has taught me so much on how appreciative I need to be of my friends. There are some darn amazing people surrounding me with affection. Some really know how to make me feel unworthy, honored, overwhelmed..... And Sunday, I had one evasive boy write me: "I feel better whenever I spend some time with you. Thank you." -(I surprised him with a visit when he wasn't expecting it). Uuugh. I'm so unworthy.
All I can do is praise. Praise you Jesus for these people. I can only pray they're blessed the way I have been blessed. If i could give each one of them the world, I would. I've probably already tried.. .... ..
I worked my last night shift - ever - (hopefully). It was wierd. It was bittersweet. It was ... wierd. The work itself was odd - the patients that came into Emerg were wierd, the situation of trying to move patients out of emerg into the rest of the hospital was wierd... And, coming to terms with reading "we'll miss you" cards and explaining my next "move" to people was wierd. We had donuts, macaroons, one-bite-brownies, a cake, chips, candy and green beans. Well, i didn't get to my green beans that night, can you guess why? Yeah. And, shall I mention that on night shift there is only 2 of us working? AND, my coworker bought me a mocha. Awe. I wasn't telling MANY people i was leaving, so as the nurses in ER were slowly finding out they were paying their dues, 'i'll miss you's" and sampling some sweets, i felt.... wierd. The Emerg doctor got to tell me he liked my hair (again, still). Finally, leaving time, i hugged all my buddies farewell, gathered up my flower, chocolate and cards and left.
Meghann and I had plans. I hit her place, picked her up, and both her and I booked it for Bellingham. Yes, Ihad already been up since 4pm the previous day but it was now 8:30 am, I was "awake" and excited to go SHOP! Meg had just finished her BA, i just finished this job, ... and woo woo!! .. CELEBRATE!
We drove. We talked about boys - the jerk who played her, the crush who is sweet to me; we danced to the music. We waved to the construction workers and contemplated kidnapping a couple of them. We stopped in Chilliwack to visit a buddy of mine -- surprising him with a "come outside in 10 minutes" text. We found out he'd be getting a tattoo later that day so we told him we'd be back the next day on our way home to see it. It's also entertaining to stop at a rehab center for men as 2 attractive females -- knowing that the guy we're visiting is going to be so razzed by the rest of the guys there after we leave. .... So worth it. :)
We hit bellingham by noon. We left bellingham at 6:30 - and over $600 poorer (we were poorer, the city was not). We lied to the border guard (forgive us Lord), but she understood girl time and Bath and Bodyworks. We got back to her aunt's, changed, and headed to a 'concert'. George Canyon, Aaron Pritchett and Jessie Farrel. HILARIOUS. Cool. Entertaining. Good times. I was exhausted, but so glad to have been there!
Hitting the pillow at 11pm timed my awake time as 31 hours. The longest yet - and the LAST! I slept well that night.... I didn't wake up once. 8 hours later we were rousing and packing to get out.
The drive home was more mellow, Meghann napped, my friend's tattoo was cool...
2:30 pm I dropped of Meghann and I headed home.
.....
Last night I spent 6 hours with a friend i've known for over 10 years. He's a boy. Well, I guess he's a man. But wow... I treasure that man like nothing I can describe. I don't know what it is but I've always seemed to be able to have guy friends with "no romantic feelings" -- and it's a true blessing to my heart. Last night I got his advice on "the latest" in my 'like-life' (no to be confused with love-life because love would be the WRONG word at this point). I gave my advice on him and his gf's situation and status. Fabulous. Nothing short of fabulous could describe our time together. We honestly adore each other in the true and pure sense of the word - as friends. JUST friends - and not like the movie of the same title. FRIENDS in the most descriptive sense of understanding phileo. *sigh*. I only have a year and a half before he leaves me to go to Aussie land to be with his Aussie-honey. He's already asked me to move down there with them.... I told him i'd bring my own lover and spend a week or two.
I tell ya. This week has taught me so much on how appreciative I need to be of my friends. There are some darn amazing people surrounding me with affection. Some really know how to make me feel unworthy, honored, overwhelmed..... And Sunday, I had one evasive boy write me: "I feel better whenever I spend some time with you. Thank you." -(I surprised him with a visit when he wasn't expecting it). Uuugh. I'm so unworthy.
All I can do is praise. Praise you Jesus for these people. I can only pray they're blessed the way I have been blessed. If i could give each one of them the world, I would. I've probably already tried.. .... ..
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